Roger
Dear Roger
How I glowed being near you
Hormones flooded my awareness
Filled me with unspeakable joy
Overwhelmed my thinking
A place of confidence beyond words
A last childhood calm
I didn’t hide my feelings
Didn’t name my feelings
Wasn’t afraid to show them
Without labels
Without expectations
I was safe
Rah
Rah
Roger
Fellow rogue
Able to banish my fears with your smile
Able to accept me unquestioned
Being wise beyond our years
Playing roles without a script
A haven of chaos and confusion
Yearning to be grown up
Not knowing if the world would even exist for us to grow up into
Believing we were on the eve of nuclear destruction
Afraid of what we might find if we ever went downtown
Rrrrrrrrr
Grrrrrrrr
RRRRRRoger
BBBBBboyfriend
I, I, I,
I never ever even knew the lust I felt for you
Every day in history class
Sitting side by side
My body responded
The hardness in my cock
The softness in my heart
Unaware that the two were connected, let alone the same
So lost
So very very lost
Each of those precious, all too precious, moments
Lost, lost, lost
In a last full bloom of innocence
A decade later
We met at the Oyster Bar
Grand Central Station
It was early afternoon
We were almost alone
Still trying too hard to be sophisticated
Ordering overrated food in an overrated place
Trying so hard to connect the pieces of our past to our present
I left angry that my adult fantasies would not be satisfied by a childhood love
I left more alone than when I arrived
I left sad that I had clouded my memory with desires of a later time
And so lost both past and present
Now, two decades further along
I remember the texture of your skin
The wind in your hair
The light in your eyes
I smile to myself and wish you well
Wherever you may be
-- Larry Wolf (1996)
[Posted 2025]